a random list

1: if you hadn't heard, this girl scoots now! she sees what she wants and scoots herself to it!

2: i knew i wanted to get my baby girl her first baby doll for Christmas this year.

what i didn't know was that it would get me all teary. how sweet it is! 

and to feel that a part of my soul feels healed, soothed, that is just the icing.

i am still in a lot of the old habits i formed whilst dealing with all the post partum and prenatal 

depressions. i was such a mean mom, and my tongue would just spew when i got upset.

i'm still changing habits, i'm still letting Jesus come in and speak truths.

i'm still looking for a tribe of women locally to also speak truths over me,

and i, in turn, can do the same for them.

3: is this a glimpse of toddler Ruby?!

 4: toddler booty.

it's a favorite thing of mine.

5: this boy. oh Jonyn. he has started using big words lately.

he walked up to me after snail shell collecting all afternoon and was all,

"mom, wanna see my giant inventory of shells?" 

uh, whut?

i don't use inventory on a regular basis because basically i work at home

where i'm not required to use words such as those.

and then he walked in to the office where i was chatting with Toby and said,

"as i resume...." i forget what the whole sentence was. but basically,

he's growing up and being all fancy about it.

 6: on this same shell collecting day, we cleaned out the garage. and it was tiring,

but worth it. also required was coffee. and i almost cropped out the dropped pj pants,

but that wouldn't be my real life, now would it?

7: he asked to play with the kennel so he could put his stuffed puppy in there.

imaginative play? sure, kid. 

we also decided to can the devices and screen time during the week because behaviors

were getting so out of control. for the most part, i'm shocked by how much better life it

without the electronics during the week. i never would have thought, until i started seeing

a common theme among other moms... their kids were acting out with too much screen time.

i didn't even think of that!

8: greyson found goggles during the garage clean out and we had a conversation that went like this:

me: hey grey, can i take your picture?

him: yeah.

me: can you stop eating for a minute?

him: yeah. stuffs face with chip.

me: do you wanna put your goggles on your eyes?

him: yeah, sure.

me: can you stop eating for a minute, for one picture?

him:  stuffs another chip.

me: snap snap snap.

hiding giggles.

is your eye stretched out?

him: stuffs another chip.

shakes head no. 

me: hides giggles.

fixes his eyeball.

me: is that better?

him: no.

fidget. fidget.

 me: now can i take a picture with your eye fixed?

him: walks away.

three year olds, man.

9: today, i gave him something, and as he walked away, he gave me a wink just as he turned

his head around. it was so adorable. three is a tough, tough age, but also the cutest.

10: lately, my theme is "and if not, He is still good."

it has been rolling in my head for a couple weeks now. it's something i have to say

out loud often lately. life goes through complicated and scary seasons, 

and sometimes, you just have to verbalize the truth.

because, whatever it is, then if not, He is still good.

xoxo

randomcity.

welp, i'm sitting here babysitting my computer because i don't want to forget about it

because i'm uploading photos from 2012 to a *gasp* printed album, 

and i seriously don't want my computer to fall asleep and stop mid upload. 

it is seriously sad how often i used my big camera compared how often i do not use it now.

i have to start picking it up more. the phone is so easy to just grab and snap, 

and i do have my phone images printed to actual albums automatically,

so there's the convenience factor there.

but i must be better. i miss the beauty in everyday photos, even the most random of

shots i used to take. such beauty in simplicity. i have been deeply considering bringing 

back my "simple moments" project. i was participating in a project 52, but yeah,

in classic form, i fell behind and basically quit.

i'm a flaky human.

and at the moment, the boys, all four big ones, are gathered around one ipad

as they "play" a physics app. it really makes my heart happy and reminds me of one more

benefit to homeschooling next year: i get to watch as they learn and grow.

that never really gets old.

after this year, i am looking forward to having all my ducklings in the house again.

i will have a much lighter teaching load this year,

and i plan on making getting out of the house more a bigger priority.

i tried out a homeschooling co-op last year, but ended up being the only momma

with very small children and the co-op met during naptime.

it just didn't work for us. so this next year, we'll just get out more on our own time.

oh you guys, this baby. she's head down, using my bladder as a punching bag,

but growing. and i'm growing, my weight gain is redonk, but hey, 

it is what it is. and i'm growing a human. and my taste palate hates all the healthy things

i should be consuming.

but one thing i am ready for? other than the obvious, let's get her out and meet her?

the nesting to kick in. 

so. much. to. do.

or at least, it feels like so much. my house is actually in decent shape right now.

i just need to mop the floors and scrub the bathtub.

what is not in decent shape is the status of the laundry pile. sheesh.

but not to worry, i's got plans.

as soon as the big kids are out of school,

we are going to spend a day, or three, catching it all up together.

and then i'm going to come up with a new plan to keep it caught up over the summer

and during the next school year.

the good news is that as of this moment, everyone has clean pants and underwear. 

and yes, that's a real issue in my house lately.

and her baby bed is currently piled almost as high as i am tall with stuff that simply 

needs to be put away. but the rest of the house is relatively clean. for now.

i have cooked twice this week already. do you even know what an accomplishment that is for

me these days? quite a big one.

so greyson has this thing. you know how sometimes with your kids you just can't help

but kiss them 512 times in a row because you're so in love with them?

yeah, greyson does that with me sometimes, and his kissy place of choice

is the back of my arm. the fattiest part he can get his big little lips on.

yup. that's my life. but it's sweet. i'm glad my bitty ones like the squishy parts of me.

 bedtime, you guys. we have a basic routine that we follow nightly,

but holy cow, it is still a battle. the six year old is afraid of the dark,

but if i leave the hall light on, they play. if i turn it off, they get up 

eleventy million times. i mean, it is totally lose lose. 

and y'all, i'm a stickler for bed times. my kids rarely go to bed past 8:30.

i buh-leed in the well rested child. 

and yet, my boys take for.ev.er to go to sleep. 

so hey, that's what's on my mind.

until next time.

xoxo

hair bows? or bow ties?

but seriously, just a couple days now and we'll be able to say he or she definitively. eek!?!

if you need a real quick crochet project, you mustmustmust try these precious little bows. 

i envision sticking them on little crocheted  baby beanies,
on a piece of elastic for a sweet little headband,
and on little clippies for when she has hair.

and if that doesn't work out, what cute little bow ties we have!

i also finished my first blanket that will actually stay in our house.
i didn't use a pattern. i just used bernat mega bulky yarn in various colors with an Q hook.
i simply half-double crocheted in the back loops only.
and i absolutely love the ridge detail back loop only gives my randomly striped blankie.

and then there are these beanies.
the bow is not stuck on there permanently yet since i'm not sure the sex of our baby.
but oh my goodness, right?! dadgum adorable. i made a blue-ish one, too, that can go boy or girl.

and let me not forget to show you this one.
i made up my own pattern by combining two i had and the results?
well, they make me melt and do the high pitched awww.
forrealz.
where's a little tiny baby head when i need one?
right. still growing.

i've done all these beanies and bows in two days.
because i can. and i might be stuck to the couch. perhaps.
which really just translates to momma needs a house keeper and a nanny.
oh and hey, there's a 21 week belly bump from the top. 

i still want to have a crochet night where we can all sit around
and be crochet-y and share projects, tips, and tricks.
and also, teach those that want to learn the craft how to get started.

this hobby has me in it's grips because it requires such minimal tools
and allows me to cozy up on the couch.

i will say, though, that shopping for and purchasing yarn can be quite addicting. quite.  
so good luck there if you decide to take up this hobby, too.

xoxo

on the hook.

i have been crocheting for a couple of years now.

i had always wanted to learn but thought it would be too difficult.

then one day i just decided to ask youtube to teach me. 

so i looked up videos, read blogs and how-to's, and just went and picked up 

a couple of hooks and some yarn.

and i've never looked back.

and now it's kind of my dream to gather other women who want to learn 

and show them the basics and get them making their own projects like it's their job.

so i wanted to share some projects i have in the works. 

i always have more than one going at once.

when i need something quick to work up, i go to my stash of cotton yarn 

and work up a quick dish rag. this is certainly one hobby that i can sit my bee-hind 

on the couch and do without too much thought or effort.

it keeps my hands busy. and i always need my hands doing something.

i'm also trying to finish this super, super chunky blanket.

i started before Christmas, but all the stores in town and online, both, ran out of the gray.

i just found one skein the other day and i hope to find more so i can

finally finish it and gift it to the person i wanted to gift it to at Christmas.

 and here is a baby blanket i'm working on for my own wee one.

it's a granny bobble technique and because i'm using such a small hook,

it's going to take me some time to finish it. but i love it so, so much.

and then this blanket that i've been working on for about a year now.

i'm making it out of chunky yarn, making granny squares.

i currently have all the squares made, i just need to trim it out in the cream

and sew them all together. it's going to be a beauty when i'm finally finished.

and it will be my first throw blanket for my own house that i've made.

a lot of love has gone into this project.

i have another gift blanket i can't show you but it is so cute.

and i just finished this button up cowl that i adore.

this yarn is just spectacular. it's isaac mizrahi yarn from michael's

and i absolutely adore all of the colors i have found.

 if you have always wanted to learn,

seriously, just start. don't wait. 

you'll wonder why you waited so long.

xoxo

chop. chop.

you guys. do you even know how unfun it is to be sick from a headache inducing head cold

and be pregnant with your sixth baby? gah. it is as unglamorous as it sounds.

day before yesterday i totally thought i was getting over it. you know, at the tail end of it.

and the by evening i felt a headache coming on. and by sometime in the middle of the night,

my head was pounding and kept me awake for quite a long time.

all of that rendered me absolutely useless yesterday. and i probably haven't been outdoors

in a week. true story. and all the coughing and weird man voice-ing that nearly sends me gagging

every time a fit comes on, please baby Jesus end it. (momma has a weak

gag reflex during pregnancy.)

thankfully by last night, the headache cleared and i fell asleep at a decent hour.

every time i randomly woke up last night, i would think,

gosh, i am sleeping SO good. this is SO amazing.

zzzzzz..... rinse and repeat a couple of times.

ps, i rarely sleep well.

so i still sound like an old man who has smoked too much in his lifetime,

but heavens, i feel so much better today.

so much so, that i got up and showered and dressed, all the way to makeup and jewelry.

amen.

so i figured it best to get these (iphone) photos done now so all the world could see.

or rather, my few friends who are super curious.

my hairs had gotten to be about shoulder length and i couldn't do anything with it. 

it doesn't hold curl whatsoever. and i have tried every method ever. and if it does curl, 

then it also creases with those ugly creases. 

it was just to the point where even pony tails sometimes looked like crap.
and y'all, i can make a pony tail look cute. except lately.

so i had been looking for awhile at short cuts waiting for one to speak to me.

and i found one. and i had her cut it a little shorter than the original photo, but

guys, it is so easy to wash, dry, and style. super fast. and i'm at a point in my life that 

that's what i need. easy hairs. and for realz, i love it. love.

here it is, friends.

i actually like some of the cuts where it's nearly shaved all around except the top, 

but i'm not totally sure that a) i could pull that off. or b) my honey would approve.

(yes, i totally value his opinion on such things as my hair. afterall,

he is the one who looks at me and must find me attractive).

so there you have it, friends.

it is dreary and foggy in my neck of the woods today. my favorite this time of year.

whatever it looks like out your window today, i hope you enjoy it.

xoxo

this, that, and the other thing.

so. we cleaned our office. like, totally cleaned it.

so i don't break out in sweats and an eye twitch when i walk in there now. 

(because it was bad for awhile, while we installed shelving. photos to come.)

and i'm not homeschooling anymore.

so i'm not having to be in the front constantly. so i'm able to come sit in the office and type.

i mean, i still have crap loads of laundry i should probably do.

but for the most part, i feel like all the words that twirl and swirl in my head might 

get a chance to make it onto virtual paper now.

that's amazing.

and i feel like i have a lot to say lately. 

i mean, my blog has mostly been neglected the past couple years due to all the busy

and ppd and you know, the life thing.

but here i am. at least for the time being, feeling like i want to document things.

by words or by photos.

honestly, there's a chance my posting might get annoying.
then again, i might flake out again and post sporadically.
who knows these things...
 

and about the boys being back in school. this is the first time we have ever had a teacher

of the boys' i didn't like. who has experience with that? i don't want to dog her,

that's not my intent. it's that i'm usually confused on what is expected of us

with what comes home in his homework folder. 

plus she talked down to us about homeschooling. yeah.

not good, teach. not good.

anyways, i don't know how to deal with my feelings about her methods. 

and also, when did kinder start having real, actual homework?!

i totally hate that part of them being back in public school

and feel like kinder and first grade homework is redonk.

also, anyone need a truck?

turns out, we don't need ours anymore.

oh! and i have (yet, another) new hobby! project life! the digital version.

once upon a time i was a scrapbooker. an avid scrapbooker.

then i had more kids than extra time, so i gave it up.

but digital scrabooking? much less time, much less money.

because, you know, you can reuse that digital stuff over and over. 

and there are a ton of free resources on the interwebz from super generous designers.

before i was a photographer that knew what i was doing, i was a scrapbooker.

and i *always* took multiple photos with multiple angles of the same subject

simply so i could scrapbook them.

and i still do that today, even though i haven't scrapped in a very long time.

but digital project life makes it easy and fast (in photoshop) 

and all i have to do is send it to the printers as a 12x12 print.

i'm seriously in love.

isn't it cute?

if you didn't know, i change hobbies almost like i change underwear.

i mean, i also just took up simple machine quilting.

and it hasn't been that long since i started crocheting.

there was the gardening i did one year (but hope to do again this spring).

also, handlettering, i thought i might be good at that. but no.

and watercolors. no. just no. i can't paint.

photography. that hobby has an ebb and flow in my life.

 not to mention all the hobbies i think i want to start doing.

it's just part of my personality, yo. 

i be who i be.
God gifted me with the ability to start all the things
and never finish them.
true story.

peace.

punch.

i mean, if you have a whole crew of kids, 

you know how difficult it is to get a group photo of them all.

when i tried to grab one of them the other day,

daddy said something to grey,

which compelled him to run down the hill,

and throw a punch.

i mean, look at that face.

you're awesome, grey.

the end.

friday's top ten 09.26.2014

'ello, peeps.
here's some random news about yours truly.

  (not him. I just needed a photo for this post.)

1. i really love to bake. mainly, i love making desserts. of all kinds. 

and as my small group knows, i pretty much like to try new recipes all the time.

like:

 this pin

  these

and this

also here.

2. i have only been on an airplane once in my life, and it was a year and a half ago.

i am hopping back on an airplane this spring.

and i. can't. wait!

3. i hate that my kids are growing up in a fence.

i mean, i grew up with room to run and play, with no fences,

just a big-o yard and woods to roam around in.

and i survived.

i want that for my boys. 

maybe someday, right?

4. i love house shopping.

online.

i love finding my "new" house 

and i love finding it where i hope to one day live.
i find my new house a lot.

5. pepperoni and black olive pizza is my favorite.

but beef (steak) is a super close second.

also, chocolate.

6. i met my husband at a grocery store when i was a 16 year old baby.

he was in the cool crowd at his school.

i was not in the cool crowd at my school.

7. if i could do it all over again, every single one of my babies would be home birth babies.

my fifth born was born in my bedroom, 

and i'd take a natural birth over medicated a million times over.

women are way more capable and powerful than given credit for by ourselves, other women,

and medical staff.

seriously, the female form is freakin' powerful and amazing when it's time to birth a baby.

just believe in yourself. 

that is all.

8. i despise the phrase, "my so and so is better than your so and so."
can.not.do.it.
it's really kind of mean.
and rude.
and i'm not a fan of rude.

9. the bedtime routine? not my thang.
daddy does bedtime,
i sit back quietly and kiss them goodnight when it's time.

10. i tried to join the air force once so we'd have a nice steady income
from both of us.
but my thyroid condition got in my way.

life lately, in the random.

a few random things

 

a)

i don't know if you know this about me. 

but.

my curse is bugs in my drinks.

kid. you. not.

the other morning, i made myself quite the tasty coffee.

'twas perfection.

i sat it in the window and started on my devo.

then i noticed a mosquito buzzing around my face.

usually flies dive into my cups and the occasional moth.

but for real, i thought to myself,

better pick this up and drink it before a bug destroys it.

alas, it was too late. *sigh.

muh-skeet-oh

blasted thing.

b)

sometimes i never know what i'll find in the toilet.

this time, hot sauce.

i cleaned the toilet, fished out the bottle,

but was verrry careful where my booty touched the toilet.

that junk lingers forever. 

no burnsies.

c)

my frand and i went out on a frand date the other day.

our husbands had a video game day. because, boys.

(side note: i seriously just fished a fly out of my jar that holds my washi tape.

the curse is not limited to beverages.)

ahem. we sent to a paint your own pottery joint.

oh dear me, when can we go again?!

it was fun. even though, i have zero talent, 

and like all good crafters, take my ideas from pinterest.

(finished product will be so much brighter and /or darker!)

d)

the sermon on sunday covered resting on the sabbath.

i'm a big sabbath-rest advocate. i buh-leed in it.

so i watched tv while i dozed. and then i used some more yarn 

scraps to add to my scrappy crocheted blankie.

i also worked on weaving in ends on another multicolored, multirowed blankie i've been making

for forever. 'twas restful and relaxing.

today? i laundry. and i work. and i do stuffs that need be done.

e)

we're in this stage where only daddy can get him to nap.

and when he doesn't actually go to sleep for a nap, he falls asleep on peeps.

like this.

f)

i had to hostess coach a sweet hostess just before lunch today for her jewelry show in a couple weeks.

so i decided to spontaneously tell my eldest to get his shoes on and grab his school books,

he's going with me. we went to lunch (and finished his school for the day),

then i took him to Bux, where i knew he'd be happy as a clam to sit and read

outside with me. 

when we got home, he cheerfully said that was the most fun day!

momma's instincts knew he needed a day out.

dear moms,

date your kids.

love, 

another mom.

ps, it does not have to be fancy pants. just do it. do it.

that fall feeling.

west texas friends, can you believe it?

rainy drizzle nearly all day, 

and temps below 70F, 

and a cool breeze that just won't quit.

*sigh.

pretty sure heaven will feel like this.

like fall.

also, it feels like home to me.

like Oklahoma.

and i've had the windows open all day.

we've had a movie day.

and i have lounged my heart out.

and napped, in and out,

as one should do when it feels like fall for the first time this year.

and yes, i still pick up my phone when it is what's convenient when i want to remember a sweet memory.

like this one.

and it's weird. 

because when i said i deleted everything off my phone,

i wudn't kiddin'.

so i keep habitually picking up my phone to "check" everything.

except there's literally nothing to check.

except the weather and my bank account.

it's sort of opened my eyes more to how much i must have been picking up my 

little distractor, 

i mean, device before i deleted everything.

i pop in to fb occasionally with business related stuff, 

and i'm not scrolling aimlessly like before. i don't let myself.

because it's easy to get sucked in.

i also pop in to post these blogs.

because i have family that wants to see the babies.

currently:

the boys are running around screaming at each other like little wild cavemen.

the breeze beside the window is heavenly.

i need a shower.

i'm just about to make potato soup. because, well, fall.

 i'm going to read while the soup cooks.

my honey is out on a job (congratulations Tyler and Kelsie).
greyson stole my ipad to play more Pepi Tree and buy songs on itunes.

i'm glancing at my september calendar and can't believe i have 9 shows on the books for just this month.

i have  a mountain of laundry to finish.

there are dirty dishes in the sink.

i'm addicted to bulletproof pumpkin spice lattes.

i, apparently, need to school my children on what all the words on shipped packages mean.
for example: "Mom, you got one from Priority."

un-fun.

you guys. 

let me just tell you how un-fun it is to have an ear infection.

o h. m y. w o r d.

i can't hear a thing. 

my nodes are swollen a crazy amount,

i can't really chew anything 

because i can't clamp down all the way

because holycrapOW!

i'm just thankful that the day it set it, the house was clean.

the day before, we cleaned everything except the floors, 

which i took care of that morning, before it was too bad.

my kids have been zoned out in front of screens. 

and that's just okay, because momma has to do what momma must.

does that keep the baby from getting into everything?

nope.

but the older two kids have been doing a fairly good job of helping me tame the beast.

pretty much i feel like my throbbing ear is going to cause my whole face to explode.

but i have sweet friends who are stepping in to pray in the name of Jesus on my behalf. 

even though i was hesitant to ask for prayers for myself.

so i'm in mucho pain.

but i'm thankful.

i'm praising Jesus IN this small trial.

because He is still good.

because He set around me (via interwebs and real life) praying homies.

because He blessed me with a gap between older and younger boys.

therefore, older boys can help keep tabs on the babies.

because He blessed me with such an understanding husband.

even when there was nothing for him to eat.

because i know He hurts when we hurt.

even when it's just an ear ache.

it's just.

you know that friend, the one you don't need to talk to everyday, every week, every month, and sometimes maybe even every year? but yet, when you do need to chat, it's like you just pick up right where you left off? no weird drama, no weird i haven't heard from so and so in forever, no weird anything? just hey let's chat and it's all okay because we're those friends that are friends no matter miles and distance, no matter the last time we chatted, no matter what's going on. you know those? those priceless peeps that love you and love on you even if it has been 64 days since your last communication?

i have one of those. she's such a dear friend. i'm pretty sure at one time we did, in fact, go a couple of years without any actual conversation. but then we did chat each other up, it was seriously no big deal, like we just chatted last week. i have one of those friends, for real. they're so rare, aren't they? i mean, i have a few of them. but this one here, she makes me feel affirmed, and cherished, and capable, and normal. she makes me feel normal. because our hearts are rightthere. kindred. knit together, as she likes to say. and i'm surprsied we aren't from the same bloodline. 

we got together last year for the first time in ten years and i felt on fire for homeschool again. i felt my spirit renewed. i felt my heart beat with joy. i felt the sister-connection we have always had, but in person. i felt refreshed in a way that is hard to put into words.

and when she came to visit me this year, in this dry, dry, dusty, treeless home of mine, i felt all those things again. we chat a lot. like, a lot. about wifery (that's a word, i made it up, so it's a word.

), about mommy-hood, about homeschool, about real, actual food, about yarn and crochet hooks, about gardening or my lack there-of, about real feelings and real life things that women are so, so afraid to talk about and say openly, about so much.

it's just... it's just. it's just.

and being with her in person again means that i have more drive for homeschool than i have had the last six months. it means i'm ready to conquer the homeschool world. it means i'm ready to be the mom-teacher my boys need. it means i am refueled and refreshed. 

and when i lock us out of my van because i'm putting chocolate in my purse before climbing out, because that's important, we chat the hour away while waiting for pop-a-lock man. and it's easy.

it's easy, y'all. a friendship that is easy and honest. that's the stuff. it really is.

{june 17, 2013. because we totally forgot to get photos before she left last week.}