So. Are you like me? Do you approach the Bible with this attitude: What am I going to get out of it today? What word is going to be spoken into my life? Also, where is my devotional, because I can't read my Bible without one. What's God gonna give me?
This was my story. I wanted to know what I was going to get out the Bible every time I read it. What was going to be spoken to me. What thing was I going to take away. And every time I cracked 'er open, I had to have a devotional or I was sure I wouldn't understand anything, or even receive anything that day.
I am absolutely not saying devos are bad. I am absolutely not saying we shouldn't be seeking the Bible for answers, because duh. We should be. (But I'm not talking on that today, it's a completely different subject than what's on my mind.)
All I'm saying is I was taking a me me me approach every. single. time. Every time, guys.
And I have a very good friend who is wise about things Bible related. (thank God for putting her in my life). Well, we were chatting one day about Jesus-y stuff as we usually do when we meet together, and she said something that has stuck with me and changed the way I'm approaching Scripture this summer and forever. She said, "When I started looking for Jesus in the Bible, that's when everything changed." Whoa. My mind blew. the. heck. up. I'm pretty sure I was stone faced in the moment, but that one statement stuck with me and rattled around in my mind for dayssssss. Weeks. We were currently in the middle of a major Bible study with our women's group and I was currently in the middle of the busiest season EVER so I'll be honest here: I didn't exactly always crack open my Bible simply to read it.
Now that my world has calmed down and I have had time to really think and ponder things. Now that I've stopped for hot minute and turned my heart back to the Lord. Now that I've slowed my roll (yeah, um, I googled to see if it was roll or role and we're going with urban dictionary's roll. I'm not a nerd, you are). Okay, so now that I've slowed my roll, I am taking time to seriously read the Word, with intent, because I wanna, out of zero obligations, but out of pure desire. Holla! I'm a little gangsta at heart. Sorry, not sorry.
But for the reals, here's my summer challenge for me (and you, if you wanna):
Read the Bible to find Jesus.
Do not: read the Bible solely for a word or to get something out of it for me (or someone else).
Crack open that sucker and seek the Savior.
Do not: crack it open because of how I'm feeling that day. (emotions are not truth givers).
Dive in everyday and see where the Lord can be found.
Do not: dive in looking for answers (unless there is a real situation that calls for it, that's different. I'm not talking about that today).
That's what I'm doing. I'm looking for the Holy One in the Word. I'm simply building my relationship with Him by seeking Him and letting Him speak into my life through the scriptures that all point back to Him anyways.
Daily, I journal a prayer before I even dive in: God: Open my eyes to see you. Open my ears to hear your Words. Open my heart to receive your truth. The verbiage varies on the daily, but the heartfelt prayer is still the same: less of me me me, more of you. Then I jump into my Bible. I've further challenged myself to read the Bible without any tools (devos or Bible studies or what have you). I will google for things I want to dissect, or seek a knowledgeable human to help a girl out, but I don't start with anything. I just want my readings to be pure: pure in seeking Jesus. I don't want to come to my quiet time only hoping for things He can give to me. I want to come to quiet time giving my ears and eyes and heart over to finding Jesus and falling more deeply in love with Him.
I want this summer to solely be about opening my Bible and saying Where my Homie at today?
xoxo
Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts
Thursday, May 11, 2017
Tuesday, May 9, 2017
brave.
So. If you don't know the whole story, here it is: I co-run a women's group/ministry/thing in our church here. And we put together (with the help of an amazing team) an early Mother's Day event this past Friday. We had all of our speaker set and ready to go, the line up was nailed down. But then. Then. My partner in crime (or just women's ministry) called me on Monday and said..... "heyyyy, soooo, you're speaking, bye." Okay, maybe not exactly in those words, but that's how I remember it because I was shell shocked. Whut. I mean..... whut?! Say it again? I'm speaking? I hate you.
So. I mulled it over for a day, and the Lord very quickly gave me something to speak about. So I said yes to this first-time-to-ever-speak-in-front-of-people-with-a-mic situation.
Our event was called BRAVE. And we had four women speak briefly on what it means to be brave in their current stage of life. All four women were in different life situations (fresh out of high school, blended family, new grandparent). My stage is: married with a bunch of kids. Aaaand, here's what I had to say:
When I was 7 months out of high school, at the tender age of 18, I married Toby. Brave was moving away from the familiar and comfort of home to be an air force wife in a brand new town 8 hours away. Brave was navigating a new marriage when I wanted to go back home to where my family lived. I even sometimes wondered if we made a mistake. Instead, I stayed and pressed on and we grew into adulthood together. That was over 16 years ago.
I started going to church with a new friend during Toby’s first deployment. I came to know the Lord. And Brave was asking him to come to church with me, repeatedly, even though he often said, “probably not.” Eventually, he started saying yes on occasion. Soon, we were baptized together. And today, we are living proof that the Lord works in the hearts of those who are unsure of Him. If this is your story, hold on, married friends, there is hope.
Three years into marriage, we had our first baby. I was 20. Brave was starting a family without a support system, like our parents and grandparents. And super bravery was getting pregnant again eight short months after the first one was born! If you're in the trenches of tiny ones in motherhood, hang on dear mommas, you can do this.
Fast forward to 5 1/2 years ago. We had four boys by now, the baby was about 10 months old and we were gearing up to move here, to Odessa. I suddenly started struggling like I never had before. Postpartum depression hit me for the first time. We moved about two months later, and I found out I was pregnant AGAIN two weeks after we got here and we were both surprised because we had decided we were done growing our family! The postpartum then became prenatal depression, a term I never heard before. I struggled the whole pregnancy, even after he was born. When he was two, I felt the fog lifting a little. THEN, because I’m fertile myrtle, I became pregnant with another surprise baby. (and yes, I DO know how that happens). This time, the prenatal depression actually kept me in bed most of my pregnancy. Brave was telling my husband and kids that I cannot do life. I cannot cook, or clean, or grocery shop. I can’t human, I can’t function. Brave was letting go of an ideal I created in my mind of what I should be doing day in and day out. Brave was letting my family help me. And sometimes, brave was simply getting out of bed.
About six months ago, my eyes were opened to something I had been in denial about: I was still struggling with postpartum depression. I had been wondering if running away alone would be best for my family. I wondered if I was damaging my kids because I still wasn't functioning well in day to day life. Brave for me, was calling a doctor and seeking medical advice, saying out loud that I needed help. If this is your story, sweet mommas, you are not alone. There is hope.
Over a year ago, the Lord asked me to be BRAVE and step out of my comfortable, introverted bubble and seek a partner to start a women’s Bible study group with. That partner was Jessica Phillips. And we’ve been going non-stop ever since that day. And right now, I am in a season where God is silent. He is not giving me direction. He is not giving me a next step. He’s just not speaking to me. And I believe it’s because my “next step” is actually to stay exactly where I am: to keep co-leading SheTribe, to simply be with my family this summer, to remain just where I am in this season of life. Brave is having faith, that though we live in a fast-paced, what’s-next, kind of world, I am to keep that faith and trust that the Lord is there always, and has not left me. He is simply asking me to be still and stay the course, be faithful to him. He’s asking me to keep going. If this is your story, dear ones, be brave where you are, remain faithful, and keep going.
So. I mulled it over for a day, and the Lord very quickly gave me something to speak about. So I said yes to this first-time-to-ever-speak-in-front-of-people-with-a-mic situation.
Our event was called BRAVE. And we had four women speak briefly on what it means to be brave in their current stage of life. All four women were in different life situations (fresh out of high school, blended family, new grandparent). My stage is: married with a bunch of kids. Aaaand, here's what I had to say:
When I was 7 months out of high school, at the tender age of 18, I married Toby. Brave was moving away from the familiar and comfort of home to be an air force wife in a brand new town 8 hours away. Brave was navigating a new marriage when I wanted to go back home to where my family lived. I even sometimes wondered if we made a mistake. Instead, I stayed and pressed on and we grew into adulthood together. That was over 16 years ago.
I started going to church with a new friend during Toby’s first deployment. I came to know the Lord. And Brave was asking him to come to church with me, repeatedly, even though he often said, “probably not.” Eventually, he started saying yes on occasion. Soon, we were baptized together. And today, we are living proof that the Lord works in the hearts of those who are unsure of Him. If this is your story, hold on, married friends, there is hope.
Three years into marriage, we had our first baby. I was 20. Brave was starting a family without a support system, like our parents and grandparents. And super bravery was getting pregnant again eight short months after the first one was born! If you're in the trenches of tiny ones in motherhood, hang on dear mommas, you can do this.
Fast forward to 5 1/2 years ago. We had four boys by now, the baby was about 10 months old and we were gearing up to move here, to Odessa. I suddenly started struggling like I never had before. Postpartum depression hit me for the first time. We moved about two months later, and I found out I was pregnant AGAIN two weeks after we got here and we were both surprised because we had decided we were done growing our family! The postpartum then became prenatal depression, a term I never heard before. I struggled the whole pregnancy, even after he was born. When he was two, I felt the fog lifting a little. THEN, because I’m fertile myrtle, I became pregnant with another surprise baby. (and yes, I DO know how that happens). This time, the prenatal depression actually kept me in bed most of my pregnancy. Brave was telling my husband and kids that I cannot do life. I cannot cook, or clean, or grocery shop. I can’t human, I can’t function. Brave was letting go of an ideal I created in my mind of what I should be doing day in and day out. Brave was letting my family help me. And sometimes, brave was simply getting out of bed.
About six months ago, my eyes were opened to something I had been in denial about: I was still struggling with postpartum depression. I had been wondering if running away alone would be best for my family. I wondered if I was damaging my kids because I still wasn't functioning well in day to day life. Brave for me, was calling a doctor and seeking medical advice, saying out loud that I needed help. If this is your story, sweet mommas, you are not alone. There is hope.
Over a year ago, the Lord asked me to be BRAVE and step out of my comfortable, introverted bubble and seek a partner to start a women’s Bible study group with. That partner was Jessica Phillips. And we’ve been going non-stop ever since that day. And right now, I am in a season where God is silent. He is not giving me direction. He is not giving me a next step. He’s just not speaking to me. And I believe it’s because my “next step” is actually to stay exactly where I am: to keep co-leading SheTribe, to simply be with my family this summer, to remain just where I am in this season of life. Brave is having faith, that though we live in a fast-paced, what’s-next, kind of world, I am to keep that faith and trust that the Lord is there always, and has not left me. He is simply asking me to be still and stay the course, be faithful to him. He’s asking me to keep going. If this is your story, dear ones, be brave where you are, remain faithful, and keep going.
********
This is (a portion of) my BRAVE story. It's so important to tell our stories, to say, "see? I overcame. There is hope. The Lord never left me, He carried me. He is good. He is faithful." Please, never be afraid to tell your story, sweet ones. Never.
xoxo
Thursday, January 12, 2017
like rain on dirt.
note: I started writing this in October, but got interrupted, because hashtag large family life. Wellllll, I also started co-writing a Bible study for women. Like, a real study with homework days and group discussions and scaryscaryscary, but I came back to this post I started and I finished it up because, God said so. And it fits perfectly (in my humble opinion). So there it is, my big THING that's gonna happen, this thing we've had in the works, this-big, scary, I don't know what I'm doing-dream. However, God is faithful. And IF I'm going to WRITE a Bible study, then by-golly, I am going to have to actually WRITE more often. So for now, I'm sharing this, because I just feel like someone needs to read it. I love you guys!
**********
I dealt with prenatal and postpartum depression for five years straight. My fourth child was about 10 months old when it first hit me. And I continued to struggle for those next five years through two more pregnancies and babies. My depression manifested in the form of frustration and anger and intolerance. My whole life felt like one big, giant valley that I could not climb my way out of. It was deep, so deep that I wondered if the Lord had forgotten me at times. But other times, I had such clarity that He was there, loving me through it, even if I could not sense His presence every waking minute.
One particular day, I was in a mood. I don't know really what that mood was, except that I wanted to literally feel the Lord all around me. I was longing for a physical touch from Him. Sometimes that happens, sometimes my heart longs so deeply for my real home that I just crave and desire to have Him manifest in front of me and whisk me into His arms.
You know how you hug someone you care about and they always have the same smell? When I hug my mom or my husband or my baby, I know their smell, and it's a comfort. I wonder what Jesus would smell like, sometimes. I think maybe it's that smell of a fresh rain on the dirt.
I was in such a state of longing that I had my Bible out, and I had some songs on my phone playing to just soothe my soul a bit. It was kind of a cloudy, gloomy day, which happens to be my favorite weather. And when I looked outside, I noticed the wind was picking up and the rain began to fall. All I could think was, this is Him. This is my hug. This is my touch from the Savior. I had the biggest need to walk outside and play the music and worship while the rain hit my face. So I did. And I cried with hands held open, palms upward (my personal representation of being open to what Jesus has for me). Tears ran. As I was going through this rough time, I could feel the joy of Jesus. It wasn’t instant happy, no, it was a resounding permanence that I would never be left alone in my valley. I would have a Savior by my side, both in front of me and behind me, hemming me in, pulling and pushing me up the side of the mountain, and carrying me when my burden feels much too heavy to bear. No valley is too deep for Him, and it that moment of rain soaking my face and hair and clothes, I was sweetly reminded that that truth is an unshakeable truth.
Saturday, August 31, 2013
scripture art
the other night, i woke up in the middle of the night, dreaming of my basil and sunshine images with scripture sprawled across them. the next day, i thought maybe i should go ahead and do as my dreams indicated. and so i did. i love the result. i want to print and hang some in my house. i might even open up my etsy shop again if i can get enough photos. we'll see. it's a lot of work for me, especially right now.
this last one is my very favorite. i love it. the second i saw this verse, i knew it was perfect. enjoy the rest of your weekend. the kids and i are all either recovering or getting sick. so, we'll be staying home from church tomorrow and watching it live via crossroadsodessa.tv.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
bath time in black and white
I got inspired by an upcoming prompt I will be participating in this weekend. So I pulled out the camera during bath time. Which was early tonight because a certain Mom might have forgotten to put a certain baby down for his afternoon nap which means that same baby was ready for bed by 6:30.
So this was around 6 or 6:15 while it was still barely daylight. I turned off all the lights except for the overhead light to get this glowy affect. I also faced him toward the open window.
I tried several different angles and perspectives. I've taken a photo of him during bath time from straight above before. So this time, I cleared my counters completely off, including the toaster oven, to remove distractions and shoot from far away using my wide angle.
I already knew in my head I was going to convert these to black and white. I love seeing my images come to life just as I planned. Because it does not happen very often at all. No, not at all.
I love how wrapped up he is in his bath and not paying attention to the camera. I love how he's lit up and the surroundings are so dark. I just love the results over all. So much so that I can not decide which is my favorite.
Thoughts?
Try new angles and perspectives, it's fun!
And also, embrace the grain. Seriously.
So this was around 6 or 6:15 while it was still barely daylight. I turned off all the lights except for the overhead light to get this glowy affect. I also faced him toward the open window.
I tried several different angles and perspectives. I've taken a photo of him during bath time from straight above before. So this time, I cleared my counters completely off, including the toaster oven, to remove distractions and shoot from far away using my wide angle.
I already knew in my head I was going to convert these to black and white. I love seeing my images come to life just as I planned. Because it does not happen very often at all. No, not at all.
I love how wrapped up he is in his bath and not paying attention to the camera. I love how he's lit up and the surroundings are so dark. I just love the results over all. So much so that I can not decide which is my favorite.
Thoughts?
Try new angles and perspectives, it's fun!
And also, embrace the grain. Seriously.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
routine: check!
Last night I couldn't sleep. So I got up, browsed the net, then decided to finally start on a routine printable check list I had been wanting to make for a while. Like I said, I'm sure this idea is floating around out there and is nothing new, but I wanted to share my little creation for my boys who need help remembering what to do in the mornings and evenings.
I made the morning routine. Then just copied the night time one and swapped some things around. I think they're cute. They match their room. And I'll probably hang them close to their bedroom door.
I just need to find a way to fashion something to hold a dry erase eraser and a dry erase marker. I'll have to think on this. Naturally I want it to be visually appealing.
Anyhow, here's the night time routine.
I know, you'd think they'd remember to put their clothes in the basket and pick up their towels. But no, not so much. I say it almost everyday. "Who left the towels in the floor?" Then I glare. Because after several years of showers and me saying "Pick up your towels!?" you'd think they'd get it.
But since they don't, here they go, a check list. A nice one at that! This, too, will go in a painted frame.
And it never hurts to have "pick up your bedroom/floor" on both pages because there are always rogue toys that seem to jump out of their hiding place in the middle of the night. true story.
I made the morning routine. Then just copied the night time one and swapped some things around. I think they're cute. They match their room. And I'll probably hang them close to their bedroom door.
I just need to find a way to fashion something to hold a dry erase eraser and a dry erase marker. I'll have to think on this. Naturally I want it to be visually appealing.
Anyhow, here's the night time routine.
I know, you'd think they'd remember to put their clothes in the basket and pick up their towels. But no, not so much. I say it almost everyday. "Who left the towels in the floor?" Then I glare. Because after several years of showers and me saying "Pick up your towels!?" you'd think they'd get it.
But since they don't, here they go, a check list. A nice one at that! This, too, will go in a painted frame.
And it never hurts to have "pick up your bedroom/floor" on both pages because there are always rogue toys that seem to jump out of their hiding place in the middle of the night. true story.
it's almost 2am
and I totally couldn't sleep.
So I laid there for a while. Thoughts racing. Then I decided to get up.
I have been wanting to make a printable for the boys for a while now for their morning and night time routines. They kind of have a hard time remembering every thing they're supposed to do. And I really want them to form good habits now while they're still youngsters.
I'm sure there's some routine printables out there somewhere (I didn't even search for one), but I wanted something visually appealing and something that matched their room. I also wanted something that would work for both of them.
So I opened up Photoshop, went to The Coffeeshop Blog to find some cute digital papers and little cutouts and such. I went to work and came up with this.
The plan is to put it in an 8x10 frame, painted to match, and let them use dry erase markers to check it off each day. Now that idea is not a new one, I know. But I like the idea, it's so doable, and they love to check things off.
I LOVE how this turned out. I never know what's gonna happen when I try to make something from nothing. Usually it doesn't work out so well. I stink at design and such, but this is so simply made, nothing very fancy pants about it. And like I said, they will like the check marking. Yes they will!
It's cute, huh? Maybe I'll go lay back down now and maybe tomorrow I'll work on their night time routine one.
So I laid there for a while. Thoughts racing. Then I decided to get up.
I have been wanting to make a printable for the boys for a while now for their morning and night time routines. They kind of have a hard time remembering every thing they're supposed to do. And I really want them to form good habits now while they're still youngsters.
I'm sure there's some routine printables out there somewhere (I didn't even search for one), but I wanted something visually appealing and something that matched their room. I also wanted something that would work for both of them.
So I opened up Photoshop, went to The Coffeeshop Blog to find some cute digital papers and little cutouts and such. I went to work and came up with this.
The plan is to put it in an 8x10 frame, painted to match, and let them use dry erase markers to check it off each day. Now that idea is not a new one, I know. But I like the idea, it's so doable, and they love to check things off.
I LOVE how this turned out. I never know what's gonna happen when I try to make something from nothing. Usually it doesn't work out so well. I stink at design and such, but this is so simply made, nothing very fancy pants about it. And like I said, they will like the check marking. Yes they will!
It's cute, huh? Maybe I'll go lay back down now and maybe tomorrow I'll work on their night time routine one.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
prayer journaling
My soul has been in a deep dark pit. A never ending hole. An ugly, yelling, mean, screaming, mad-face, scowling, unrelenting pit. I'm so over it. I want out.
I'm really good at saying I'll do something, then not doing it. Really, spectacular, actually. But God has been preparing little by little to commit to him, in some fashion, more than I have been committed.
When, or rather, if I pray, it's scattered, unfocused, my mind can't sit still or even stay in prayer. Maybe partly because I have four kids and have a hard time remembering what it's like to do the same thing for any length of time.
Prayer journaling, however, I can rock that. I'll admit. My thoughts stay focused. My pencil doesn't stop. It doesn't sway my mind onto other things. It goes. It breathes life onto the paper that translates my heart into a beautiful prayer made straight to the Lord. Soul soothing.
The past two days have been great. A teensy tiny itty bitty bit of light is shining down into my pit. I can feel it's warmth. Jesus is coming to rescue me. He's embracing me in my current state, yet wanting me to overcome.
My heart is yearning for Him. My hands reaching. My soul crying out. My spirit hopeful. The despair is lifting.
I didn't yell yesterday. I didn't yell today. A huge accomplishment. An unbelievably huge accomplishment. I raised my voice yes, but the bitterness was not in that voice. Sometimes kids require a more stern voice, but the rage that can be in that stern voice, I didn't feel it today. Blessing. Big big blessing. Oh gosh, if you only knew what a feat this is for me. If only you could grasp the amount of rage I live with daily, it's haunting. But now, it's lifting. Slowly.
I'm committed to prayer journaling each night. Pulling out my Bible in the middle of something I've written that beckons me to seek more. Speaking my heart to Jesus through the written word. Listening when He speaks back.
My experience during this first night of prayer journaling was indescribable. The way the Lord revealed things to me. I have not felt that soul satisfied in very very very long time. Tears fell. Heart rejoiced. The whole two pages nearly made it here to this space.
O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water. Psalm 63:1
Yes, I have felt this exact thing for so long.
My deep thirst is slowly being quenched. Thank you, Jesus.
Come to me all, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28b
Okay Jesus, I am coming to rest now. For, we have a very long road ahead.
..............................................
p.s. photo I took via Instagram. My Instagram feed and many other random things (as well as my blog feed) get posted to my Facebook page daily if you'd like more of myreal.everyday.life.
I'm really good at saying I'll do something, then not doing it. Really, spectacular, actually. But God has been preparing little by little to commit to him, in some fashion, more than I have been committed.
When, or rather, if I pray, it's scattered, unfocused, my mind can't sit still or even stay in prayer. Maybe partly because I have four kids and have a hard time remembering what it's like to do the same thing for any length of time.
Prayer journaling, however, I can rock that. I'll admit. My thoughts stay focused. My pencil doesn't stop. It doesn't sway my mind onto other things. It goes. It breathes life onto the paper that translates my heart into a beautiful prayer made straight to the Lord. Soul soothing.
The past two days have been great. A teensy tiny itty bitty bit of light is shining down into my pit. I can feel it's warmth. Jesus is coming to rescue me. He's embracing me in my current state, yet wanting me to overcome.
My heart is yearning for Him. My hands reaching. My soul crying out. My spirit hopeful. The despair is lifting.
I didn't yell yesterday. I didn't yell today. A huge accomplishment. An unbelievably huge accomplishment. I raised my voice yes, but the bitterness was not in that voice. Sometimes kids require a more stern voice, but the rage that can be in that stern voice, I didn't feel it today. Blessing. Big big blessing. Oh gosh, if you only knew what a feat this is for me. If only you could grasp the amount of rage I live with daily, it's haunting. But now, it's lifting. Slowly.
I'm committed to prayer journaling each night. Pulling out my Bible in the middle of something I've written that beckons me to seek more. Speaking my heart to Jesus through the written word. Listening when He speaks back.
My experience during this first night of prayer journaling was indescribable. The way the Lord revealed things to me. I have not felt that soul satisfied in very very very long time. Tears fell. Heart rejoiced. The whole two pages nearly made it here to this space.
O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water. Psalm 63:1
Yes, I have felt this exact thing for so long.
My deep thirst is slowly being quenched. Thank you, Jesus.
Come to me all, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28b
Okay Jesus, I am coming to rest now. For, we have a very long road ahead.
..............................................
p.s. photo I took via Instagram. My Instagram feed and many other random things (as well as my blog feed) get posted to my Facebook page daily if you'd like more of myreal.everyday.life.
Friday, December 2, 2011
reframing the season
I feel like things have been ugly for so long and I'm ready to be beyond all this negativity that I feel inside most days. This dumpy place I'm in, I want out. And I know the only way is to focus on Jesus.
I want to reframe the season this year by focusing on the Giver of Life more than anything else.
Picture the Holidays
Day 2
I want to reframe the season this year by focusing on the Giver of Life more than anything else.
Picture the Holidays
Day 2
Friday, May 27, 2011
support for a friend
This family is so precious to me. Justin, Erin, and their new baby girl Heidi. They are an amazing couple with a passion for God, family, and life. I admire them so much. I love them so much.
Not too long ago, Justin's leukemia came back, just before the birth of their baby girl. He's now receiving chemotherapy and is hoping he's on his last round so he can get his bone marrow transplant.
My sweet husband and a few of his friends got together and built a website for them so we could all show our support. (100% of any donations goes straight to them). There are a lot of things happening in their lives right now, so please visit their website to see how you can help show your support. And take a moment to sign the guestbook and leave a few words of encouragement for them. Positive, uplifting, hope-filled words mean so much during their time of need. The website tells his whole story. It's worth a read.
And please add the button for the website to your page. It can be found in my right side bar. And if you feel led, please share his website on your Blog, Facebook, Twitter, anything, or everything. It would be so appreciated!
To learn more about bone marrow transplants, please visit marrow.org.
To learn more about leukemia, please visit lls.org.
My sweet husband and a few of his friends got together and built a website for them so we could all show our support. (100% of any donations goes straight to them). There are a lot of things happening in their lives right now, so please visit their website to see how you can help show your support. And take a moment to sign the guestbook and leave a few words of encouragement for them. Positive, uplifting, hope-filled words mean so much during their time of need. The website tells his whole story. It's worth a read.
And please add the button for the website to your page. It can be found in my right side bar. And if you feel led, please share his website on your Blog, Facebook, Twitter, anything, or everything. It would be so appreciated!
To learn more about bone marrow transplants, please visit marrow.org.
To learn more about leukemia, please visit lls.org.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
I'd like a do-over, please...
This week has brought tons of craziness into our house. Maybe there's something in the air? I dunno. What I do know, however, is that this has been one tough week! This week has put all my parenting skills to the test! A sick baby. A big boy who's decided crying is the best method to communicate. A second boy who thinks minding Mom is out of the question. Also, my house is a WRECK! It was clean. And I was keeping it that way [mostly]. Then we got back from our trip and well, the house is all messy, and everyone's been acting nutty. My dirty house seems to make me a little crazier and a little more stressed. Maybe it's affecting the boys too. Taylan has recently been melting down over EVERYTHING! Apparently he thinks nothing can be solved by talking it out anymore. He used to be good at just telling us what he needed to, now... he cries. I wonder if he is feeling like that's the only way we will SEE him at the moment. Maybe more quality time is needed. Kanyon just doesn't want to listen and obey. EVERYTHING is a HUGE battle. huge. We've been butting heads all week. He has also become the king of excuses. There's a reason why he can't do ANYTHING! There's also the fact that the older two will.not.stop.fighting. It's draining. All the arguing and tattling, and being mean. And then, the baby. Oh the baby. He's been sickly the first part of this week. He's been clingy. And I'm pretty sure he has not slept all night long in his bed at all this week. Which is interfering with my sleep. I don't want to be a sleep snob, but I KINDA AM! I like to go to bed and sleep instead of wrestle with a toddler who wakes up every hour looking for my hair to twirl. I kid you not, people, lately he sleeps with his arms wrapped around my head so he can play with my hair!
What does all this amount to? One cranky Mom. A Mom who has not been kind with her words. Who has not been encouraging when she speaks. A Mom who wants to throw in the towel and move far far away from reality. I have yelled a lot this week. I have actually told one of my children to go away. I have been flustered and frustrated and angry and on the verge of tears. Ugh, I've been a horrible Mom this week. A Mom who wonders what the heck she is doing. It feels like I am doing everything wrong. And in some respects, I am.
Then I came across THIS this morning. Go ahead, read it now... I am still always astounded by the fact that God sends little messages to us when we need them through everyday moments (or blogs). So I read that and realized that some of what she said is what I feel and what I'm going through. I think I agree that I need to first work on me. That I am SO flawed and I need to try to change the way I speak to my boys. Frustrated though I may be, I need to remember to speak encouragement and not spew anger towards them. It is a very hard thing for me to do. Why? I have no idea. Maybe because I'm stuck in a rut and the dark voices inside my head are telling me that yelling and being hateful are the only way to get through to my children and make them mind. I MUST change this. I have to.
My challenge to me is to NOT speak a work of negativity to my boys for the rest of the weekend. This is to extend to my husband as well. I will only speak encouraging and uplifting words, or I will NOT speak at all. (I'm only saying through the weekend, because giving myself far away deadlines is overwhelming for me and seems more impossible. One weekend feels much more doable. Afterwards, I'll extend it through the next week, and so on). I have to change my way of thinking and speaking. My kids need to feel loved and welcomed, not turned away and despised.
I love them. And now I need to SHOW them that I love them.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Friday's Top Ten
Ten passages of scripture I adore!
I'm not going to type them all up because I think it'll be more awesome if you use your Bible so you can mark any that might speak to you ;)
1. My all time favorite passage EVER: Psalm 139. The whole chapter.
2. Psalm 51:1-17
3. James 1:2-4
4. Proverbs 31:10-31
5. Song of Songs 2:16a
6.Psalm 141:1-5
7. Psalm 142 I've prayed this chapter through tears during low points and struggles throughout my walk.
8. Jeremiah 29:11 My favorite single verse.
9. Ephesians 4:29 I [try] to apply this as a Momma to my babes.
10. Romans 12:11 I have to remember this one as a Homemaker. I tend to slack.
Happy weekend!
We'll be in Dallas tomorrow and Sunday. YAY! This may be odd to some, but we've NEVER been out of town with our boys to do something just for fun. This'll be a first and I'm super excited!! And they are too ;)
I'm not going to type them all up because I think it'll be more awesome if you use your Bible so you can mark any that might speak to you ;)
1. My all time favorite passage EVER: Psalm 139. The whole chapter.
2. Psalm 51:1-17
3. James 1:2-4
4. Proverbs 31:10-31
5. Song of Songs 2:16a
6.Psalm 141:1-5
7. Psalm 142 I've prayed this chapter through tears during low points and struggles throughout my walk.
8. Jeremiah 29:11 My favorite single verse.
9. Ephesians 4:29 I [try] to apply this as a Momma to my babes.
10. Romans 12:11 I have to remember this one as a Homemaker. I tend to slack.
Happy weekend!
We'll be in Dallas tomorrow and Sunday. YAY! This may be odd to some, but we've NEVER been out of town with our boys to do something just for fun. This'll be a first and I'm super excited!! And they are too ;)
Thursday, April 8, 2010
One Day Without Shoes...
Today is my first guest post. And it seems so official. My guest today is my very own husband, Toby!
__________________________________________
So, today was April 8th which is usually a normal day however, on this April 8th I participated in a world wide event that raises awareness about people that can't afford shoes. This day is promoted by Toms Shoes. If you haven't heard, Toms Shoes distributes one pair of shoes to someone who doesn't have any for every one pair they sell. So if you buy a pair, Tom's gives a pair away to someone who needs it. Lets get to it...
My experience today was a little refreshing, albeit a little painful. It seems as if I had been taking my shoes for granted. When I typically wake up I don't think about the item made of leather and rubber that I'm slipping onto my feet. On any given day I wear a pair of Reebok shoes. They are solid white with a navy blue sole, they are really beige color at the moment I guess, "off-white". The toes are scuffed on them because over the course of time this tends to happen. I don't ever untie them because it's easier and faster to just slip them on, so I keep them loose enough to go on easily but not so loose that they'll slip off if I run. I always tuck my shoe laces into my shoes so they don't come untied because I don't want to retie them. And over the last year or so this one pair of shoes has single handedly (or foot) protected my feet from the evil thorns that I would otherwise have to endure as I walk across a field to pick my son up from school.
I learned to appreciate my shoes today as I experienced only a portion (if you could even call it that) of what others around the world experience daily. In some countries kids are denied access to school because they have no shoes, which are a requirement as part of their uniform. In others, like Ethiopia, people suffer from a foot condition known as Podoconiosis. It's as hard to say as the pictures of it are to look at. Its pronounced Podo - cone - knee - osis, hope that helps! This condition is caused from walking barefoot... on volcanic soil. In some of the images people were affected so badly that there legs were swollen up to their knees.
So today I walked barefoot to and from work and where public places permitted it. My feet got dirty and I stepped on a few thorns that I promptly pulled out. Even at this moment as I sit here and type this my feet have a slight sting to them. But I've realized that it could be much worse and that the Lord has blessed me and my family with a simple thing that I've all to often taken for granted, shoes. Maybe I can do more to help a worldwide effort to get everyone shoes, or maybe I could just help my local community by donating my old shoes to Goodwill or the Salvation Army instead of throwing them away next time. Ask yourself what you could do to help out. And, if you need some motivation, try walking a day in their life without your shoes.
___________________________________________
Thank you Toby!
__________________________________________
So, today was April 8th which is usually a normal day however, on this April 8th I participated in a world wide event that raises awareness about people that can't afford shoes. This day is promoted by Toms Shoes. If you haven't heard, Toms Shoes distributes one pair of shoes to someone who doesn't have any for every one pair they sell. So if you buy a pair, Tom's gives a pair away to someone who needs it. Lets get to it...
My experience today was a little refreshing, albeit a little painful. It seems as if I had been taking my shoes for granted. When I typically wake up I don't think about the item made of leather and rubber that I'm slipping onto my feet. On any given day I wear a pair of Reebok shoes. They are solid white with a navy blue sole, they are really beige color at the moment I guess, "off-white". The toes are scuffed on them because over the course of time this tends to happen. I don't ever untie them because it's easier and faster to just slip them on, so I keep them loose enough to go on easily but not so loose that they'll slip off if I run. I always tuck my shoe laces into my shoes so they don't come untied because I don't want to retie them. And over the last year or so this one pair of shoes has single handedly (or foot) protected my feet from the evil thorns that I would otherwise have to endure as I walk across a field to pick my son up from school.
I learned to appreciate my shoes today as I experienced only a portion (if you could even call it that) of what others around the world experience daily. In some countries kids are denied access to school because they have no shoes, which are a requirement as part of their uniform. In others, like Ethiopia, people suffer from a foot condition known as Podoconiosis. It's as hard to say as the pictures of it are to look at. Its pronounced Podo - cone - knee - osis, hope that helps! This condition is caused from walking barefoot... on volcanic soil. In some of the images people were affected so badly that there legs were swollen up to their knees.
So today I walked barefoot to and from work and where public places permitted it. My feet got dirty and I stepped on a few thorns that I promptly pulled out. Even at this moment as I sit here and type this my feet have a slight sting to them. But I've realized that it could be much worse and that the Lord has blessed me and my family with a simple thing that I've all to often taken for granted, shoes. Maybe I can do more to help a worldwide effort to get everyone shoes, or maybe I could just help my local community by donating my old shoes to Goodwill or the Salvation Army instead of throwing them away next time. Ask yourself what you could do to help out. And, if you need some motivation, try walking a day in their life without your shoes.
___________________________________________
Thank you Toby!
Sunday, February 14, 2010
another (in)courage post
This struck a chord today.... actually brought tears to my eyes...
(in)courage
It spoke to my heart in so many ways. I can relate to what the author wrote. If a more intimate relationship with God means a more intimate relationship with my husband, then it can only be win-win.
I've been really terrible about getting up early since my nausea started. It's around the clock and some mornings are worse than others. But I keep feeling God tugging at my heart strings asking me to come back to him and seek him every morning before the house wakes up. It will be a challenge....more so now than before. But I MUST do so in order to really connect with God. In order to be a better wife. And in order to be a better Mom. I'm growing up 4 kids for the kingdom of God. How well of a job will I be able to do if my life isn't 100% Christ centered? if I'm not giving my days over to him continually? if I'm not seeking him and serving him before I wake up my house and start serving them? I have to do better. That was the prayer of my heart this morning. To be able to really rest and wake up early again. To have a burning desire in my heart to know God more. I HAVE to do better. I have to. And I want to. Tomorrow will be a fresh start (again). Seems I'm always in need of a fresh start. Maybe one of these days I'll get it right and live my life completely obedient.
Happy Heart Day!
(in)courage
It spoke to my heart in so many ways. I can relate to what the author wrote. If a more intimate relationship with God means a more intimate relationship with my husband, then it can only be win-win.
I've been really terrible about getting up early since my nausea started. It's around the clock and some mornings are worse than others. But I keep feeling God tugging at my heart strings asking me to come back to him and seek him every morning before the house wakes up. It will be a challenge....more so now than before. But I MUST do so in order to really connect with God. In order to be a better wife. And in order to be a better Mom. I'm growing up 4 kids for the kingdom of God. How well of a job will I be able to do if my life isn't 100% Christ centered? if I'm not giving my days over to him continually? if I'm not seeking him and serving him before I wake up my house and start serving them? I have to do better. That was the prayer of my heart this morning. To be able to really rest and wake up early again. To have a burning desire in my heart to know God more. I HAVE to do better. I have to. And I want to. Tomorrow will be a fresh start (again). Seems I'm always in need of a fresh start. Maybe one of these days I'll get it right and live my life completely obedient.
Happy Heart Day!
Monday, January 4, 2010
His timing
You know when you read something, and feel that stir and think YES! I needed to hear this! Thank you Lord! I love that. I love it when it happens. Of course there are also times when that something I needed to hear is not something I WANTED to hear.
This time it is both something I wanted and needed to hear (or read):
http://www.incourage.me : Five Steps to Real Change in the New Year
Please read it and find hope and encouragement there. I needed it because I absolutely NEED to get out of my ridiculous low point. I'm tired. And I'm tired of being here which makes me more weary. I want to be joyful again. I don't remember how to find joy amidst my pain anymore. I am no longer thankful in moments of sorrow. How do I get back to that place? where Jesus is enough? I miss that place. I miss being there. I miss it all. I long for it now more than ever.
Last night I had a conversation with my best friend and I did a lot of venting and just talking to her. And it felt so good to finally tell someone how I feel. It felt so good knowing she would listen and just let me get my frustrations off my chest without judgement. I needed that. I love it when pieces fall right into place. My friend. The article. I needed both and what perfect timing. I know that I should take my concerns and worries straight to the Lord and then discuss them with friends instead of the other way around. Because He too will let me vent and get my frustrations out without judgment. But in times where I feel like He has vanished that is very hard for me to do. I have to relearn all these things. And reading that article, I believe, is a great start for me. I'm taking those five steps, writing out what I need to do, filling in my issues, wording it in my words (using hers as a guide) and putting it into practice. I do better with a guide, a strategy, an outline, a schedule. Remembering to give thanks everyday will help me too. I'm thankful to Him for this itty bitty piece of help.
If you too are struggling with anything, I do pray we can both see some sunshine through the rain and remember where our joy comes from...
My favorite words from that article are these: "...take the first step. Again and again. The wind, hope on its wings, sweeps each new day clean before us, and sweeps over our tracks from yesterday, filling with grace."
This time it is both something I wanted and needed to hear (or read):
http://www.incourage.me : Five Steps to Real Change in the New Year
Please read it and find hope and encouragement there. I needed it because I absolutely NEED to get out of my ridiculous low point. I'm tired. And I'm tired of being here which makes me more weary. I want to be joyful again. I don't remember how to find joy amidst my pain anymore. I am no longer thankful in moments of sorrow. How do I get back to that place? where Jesus is enough? I miss that place. I miss being there. I miss it all. I long for it now more than ever.
Last night I had a conversation with my best friend and I did a lot of venting and just talking to her. And it felt so good to finally tell someone how I feel. It felt so good knowing she would listen and just let me get my frustrations off my chest without judgement. I needed that. I love it when pieces fall right into place. My friend. The article. I needed both and what perfect timing. I know that I should take my concerns and worries straight to the Lord and then discuss them with friends instead of the other way around. Because He too will let me vent and get my frustrations out without judgment. But in times where I feel like He has vanished that is very hard for me to do. I have to relearn all these things. And reading that article, I believe, is a great start for me. I'm taking those five steps, writing out what I need to do, filling in my issues, wording it in my words (using hers as a guide) and putting it into practice. I do better with a guide, a strategy, an outline, a schedule. Remembering to give thanks everyday will help me too. I'm thankful to Him for this itty bitty piece of help.
If you too are struggling with anything, I do pray we can both see some sunshine through the rain and remember where our joy comes from...
My favorite words from that article are these: "...take the first step. Again and again. The wind, hope on its wings, sweeps each new day clean before us, and sweeps over our tracks from yesterday, filling with grace."
Friday, January 1, 2010
Friday's Top Ten
Ten of my favorite blogs to read in random order(not including friends because most of you know each other. Plus it would be odd for me to recommend that you read your own blog ;) ).
1. Adventures in Babywearing. I love her blog. Her family fascinates me. She has four beautiful babes and blogs about motherhood while practicing Attachment Parenting. It's pretty encouraging for others who parent the same way.
2. The Pioneer Woman. This is one awesome lady. She just made her first cookbook and her life on the ranch is fun to 'watch'. She blogs daily and I love to read it!
3. i heart faces. A photography contest based website. If you want to grow your knowledge on simply taking better photos for your family or on more professional techniques, check them out. OR if want to enter their weekly contest or just look through other entries, you should have a look!
4. (in)courage. Each post is written geared toward women and gives daily encouragement and I love it, even if it's something I don't want to hear but NEED to.
5. Coffee Shop Free PS/PSE Actions! Coffee Shop Rita makes actions for Photoshop and Photoshop Elements and is always giving them away for free. Plus she has tutorials on using them, and on other things photography related, but also on making your blog better and more personalized. I recommend checking her out if you want to learn a thing or two about making your blog more YOU.
6. Bakerella. Even though we have cut out sweets (since the holidays are over) I love to see her awesome creations. They're always so cute!
7. Simple Marriage. He gives great advice on keeping your marriage healthy and to make it stronger. It's always good advice and he keeps it real there.
8. Passionate Homemaking. Lindsay is a stay at home mom with a passion for it. She is always blogging something about homemaking from healthy natural recipes to homemade soaps and deodorants, how she cuts costs, and how she keeps her family living simply and naturally.
9. Life in Motion Photography. Okay, so I love, love her work, but she has the cutest family too. I aspire to be that good one day. And I love how she's honest about her daily life.
10.the creative mama. There's just always something good going on over there. From kids to photography, I just love it.
11. Jasmine Star Photography. Ahh, this one. She's a wedding photog and I don't do weddings, but her work is absolutely gorgeous! And her passion for life is amazing. I love to read what she writes.
12. Texas Chicks Blogs and Pics. Another one that has great advice and tips and tricks on improving your photos and also improving your blog to make it what you want it to be. For sure worth a look!
Okay. Yes that was a few more. But I can't help it! I love them ;) There's more I read too (including the people I know of course). My blog list is always kept up to date at the right hand side of my page. Have a look. You might just get hooked on a few of these blogs ;)
Happy first day of 2010! And Happy Birthday to my Papa...a super major huge giant very important person in my life. I love you Papa!
1. Adventures in Babywearing. I love her blog. Her family fascinates me. She has four beautiful babes and blogs about motherhood while practicing Attachment Parenting. It's pretty encouraging for others who parent the same way.
2. The Pioneer Woman. This is one awesome lady. She just made her first cookbook and her life on the ranch is fun to 'watch'. She blogs daily and I love to read it!
3. i heart faces. A photography contest based website. If you want to grow your knowledge on simply taking better photos for your family or on more professional techniques, check them out. OR if want to enter their weekly contest or just look through other entries, you should have a look!
4. (in)courage. Each post is written geared toward women and gives daily encouragement and I love it, even if it's something I don't want to hear but NEED to.
5. Coffee Shop Free PS/PSE Actions! Coffee Shop Rita makes actions for Photoshop and Photoshop Elements and is always giving them away for free. Plus she has tutorials on using them, and on other things photography related, but also on making your blog better and more personalized. I recommend checking her out if you want to learn a thing or two about making your blog more YOU.
6. Bakerella. Even though we have cut out sweets (since the holidays are over) I love to see her awesome creations. They're always so cute!
7. Simple Marriage. He gives great advice on keeping your marriage healthy and to make it stronger. It's always good advice and he keeps it real there.
8. Passionate Homemaking. Lindsay is a stay at home mom with a passion for it. She is always blogging something about homemaking from healthy natural recipes to homemade soaps and deodorants, how she cuts costs, and how she keeps her family living simply and naturally.
9. Life in Motion Photography. Okay, so I love, love her work, but she has the cutest family too. I aspire to be that good one day. And I love how she's honest about her daily life.
10.the creative mama. There's just always something good going on over there. From kids to photography, I just love it.
11. Jasmine Star Photography. Ahh, this one. She's a wedding photog and I don't do weddings, but her work is absolutely gorgeous! And her passion for life is amazing. I love to read what she writes.
12. Texas Chicks Blogs and Pics. Another one that has great advice and tips and tricks on improving your photos and also improving your blog to make it what you want it to be. For sure worth a look!
Okay. Yes that was a few more. But I can't help it! I love them ;) There's more I read too (including the people I know of course). My blog list is always kept up to date at the right hand side of my page. Have a look. You might just get hooked on a few of these blogs ;)
Happy first day of 2010! And Happy Birthday to my Papa...a super major huge giant very important person in my life. I love you Papa!
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
inspiration
Loved this today (and needed it a little).... have a look at this blog post from Simple Mom.
Happy Monday :)
Happy Monday :)
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